Friday gratitude

Feb. 15th, 2019 21:26
cofax7: Indiana Jones in sepia (IJ - Indy Sepia)
[personal profile] cofax7
1. Free Solo, which is an awesome documentary about someone who should know better, and the people around him, who are simultaneously supportive and terrified. And his girlfriend is ridiculously pretty. So good: I hope it wins the Oscar.

2. Season 2 of The Dragon Prince dropped last night, and I'm already 4 episodes in.

3. Co-workers sent me a Harry & David box of fruit and nuts this week, which was awesome.

4. I'm going to Ireland in June! Pray for good weather.

5. I have a pot of Mark Bittman's vegetable cassoulet on the stove.

There was a monster called Rex-O.

Feb. 15th, 2019 22:56
thanekos: Lora, crafting. (Default)
[personal profile] thanekos posting in [community profile] scans_daily
He'd been sent after some kids.

They'd been saved from him by the psiot Livewire, looking into what Toyo Harada'd left behind.

She wanted to know more about Rex-O, so she dove into the dark web.

" Rex-O. What is your story? "


She was engaging in technopathy. )
lizbee: (Default)
[personal profile] lizbee
Here is a list of things I was mentally shouting at the screen during A Particular Scene of this episode...

Is this what TNG would have been like if Admiral Necheyev had been written like an actual person? )

on the state of groceries

Feb. 15th, 2019 17:46
lovepeaceohana: A photo of halo halo, a Filipino dessert made with shaved ice and various delicious toppings. (halo halo)
[personal profile] lovepeaceohana
This week's [community profile] thefridayfive:

1. Do you make up a dinner plan for the coming week?

I prefer having a meal plan for the next several days, yes. It doesn't always happen - sometimes I don't effectively prioritize my time and I don't get around to it in a timely fashion (i.e., before grocery shopping happens), and sometimes I don't because Beau prefers the flexibility to make meals with ingredients we happen to have on hand. Our cooking styles are really different in that respect; I prefer to cook from recipes and do best when I'm feeling inspired by new dishes, whereas he prefers to keep things straightforward and isn't afraid to experiment with just throwing things together.

2. Do you make up a shopping list and stick to it when shopping?

If I've got a meal plan, you betcha, and it's organized by section of the grocery store and the preferred purchase location to boot. If I don't have a meal plan, we upload things we think we need into our shared digital list and work from there. Sometimes we come home with extra things, or with stuff missing because it was unavailable, or because it turned out to be way more than whoever's shopping thought was reasonable (aka "okay or I could go buy it at another store tomorrow for significantly less").

3. What is one thing that you always buy, but never put down on a list?

I'm really hard-pressed to think of something that fits in this category -- probably specific personal hygiene things (esp. treatment for varying skin conditions), those are the only things I can really think of. Otherwise it's gotta go on the list or it's out of sight, out of mind.

4. Is there anything that you always think you are out of and come home with it to discover you already have a year’s supply on hand?

Funny story there -- for a while, this was definitely us with toothpaste. Beau and I both, on several separate occasions, purchased our favorite toothpaste, each time having forgotten about the Costco-sized stash at home. Right now it's Swiffer wet cloth refills and dish soap refills, but that stuff at least won't go bad.

5. Do you get your groceries delivered?

Currently our only deliveries are through Imperfect Produce, and we're considering cutting that just because while it's nice in theory, I'm running into issues with actually using the produce that comes in before it wilts. Less an issue for the many (many) squashes, but a real issue for the aspirational citrus we keep ordering (and, er, only Beau and sometimes the kids eat citrus). I've used a service through the grocery store that lets me order groceries online and just pick them up at the store all ready to go, but a) it was free and b) I was a solo parent that week; it's not something I'd do regularly, partially because I like grocery shopping.

[food] oh go on then

Feb. 16th, 2019 00:06
kaberett: a watercolour of a pale gold/salmon honeysuckle blossom against a background of green leaves (honeysuckle)
[personal profile] kaberett
Some of you have specifically mentioned being interested in seeing other people's responses to this week's [community profile] thefridayfive, and I'm sitting around nervously watching the mass spec run without the concentration to do anything more useful, so here you go.

Content note: this week's theme is grocery shopping and meal planning. My answers therefore involve mention of sensory issues with food, dietary restrictions, and disordered eating.

Read more... )

Of course, what these questions don't touch on is HAVE I MENTIONED I HAVE AN ALLOTMENT. :D I make choices about what to grow (and where) for convenience; for example, I don't like buying cut herbs because (i) I feel vaguely guilty and (ii) they're never the right quantities, but I do like fresh herbs, so in pots on the verandah I've got mint, parsley, rosemary, sage, chives, and bay. I'm on the verge of buying seeds for two kinds of basil; an honourable mention to the ancestral wild garlic, that springeth green. I also had tomatoes on the patio (... I still haven't decided what to call it; "decking" seems awfully USois, somehow, and isn't quite in my active vocabulary) this summer, which was convenient and enjoyable enough that I'm likely to do it again. (I might also try cucumbers on the patio, depending on how the weather goes and whether I actually buy a greenhouse.)

At the allotment I'm prioritising things it's ridiculously expensive to buy (poppy seed! caraway seed! hopefully, if I get my act together, asparagus! bay leaves! soft fruit! hopefully some saffron, thanks to [personal profile] ewt!), things that come in entirely the wrong amounts always and are awkward to store (spinach!), things I always wince over the cost of and can rarely be persuaded to indulge myself on (fennel! purple sprouting broccoli! pak choi! shallots! interesting salad leaves! hopefully passionfruit!), things that are Brightly Coloured (this season I'm going to be experimenting with Painted Mountain sweetcorn, rainbow quinoa and purple chillis, among others), things it's otherwise tricksy to find (root parsley! :D), and things that are Just Better when they're really ludicrously fresh (hiiiii peas). I'd already been trying to eat seasonally; I'm looking forward to spending more time paying attention to plants, and trying to remind myself that I'm not going to be starting everything off hideously too late even if I am only getting back from Belfast at the end of February.

This is of course my first year with the allotment so I don't... entirely have a sense of how my shopping patterns will actually be affected, but I Am Excited To Find Out: I've already been enjoying working with the rhubarb and beetroot neighbours have desperately fobbed off on me, and with the things I've managed to get going already. So, you know, if compatible with your diet, should you visit me over the summer there's a very high chance that you'll be fed Things What I Grew (That Aren't The Sourdough), and should I visit you you might get brought A Tribute...

Weekly Reading

Feb. 15th, 2019 15:57
torachan: arale from dr slump dressed in a penguin suit and smiling (arale penguin)
[personal profile] torachan
Currently Reading
Silent Child
Mystery/thriller about a woman who's son goes missing at age six and is presumed dead, but shows up again ten years later. I'm about a quarter of the way through and it's all right. The woman's husband is a huge jerk and I'm hoping that we're meant to think so but not entirely sure (he's a jerk in a way that is often portrayed as totally normal and awesome). Wouldn't be surprised if he was somehow behind the kid's disappearance but idk.

Death in the Spotlight
The newest Wells & Wong mystery! I downloaded it straight after it was released and then forgot about it immediately. XD Just started it today and have only read a few chapters but I'm looking forward to it.

A Bun in the Oven: How the Food and Birth Movements Resist Industrialization
Not much progress on this. I think I just read one more chapter and that's it.

Recently Finished
Shadows of the Workhouse
I really enjoyed this a lot and will definitely be reading the third book in the series soon.

The Promised Neverland vol. 3-6
This is so good! On the one hand, I don't know why I waited so long to start reading this series, but on the other hand I'm glad I did because now I have twelve volumes to read before I'm caught up.

Misshitsu no Hisokana Hoshi
Another Amagakure Gido BL one-shot that I proofread for a friend who's scanlating it. It was cute but not amazing.
melannen: Commander Valentine of Alpha Squad Seven, a red-haired female Nick Fury in space, smoking contemplatively (Default)
[personal profile] melannen

  • fanfic I read this week, even though I really like doing those posts, and [personal profile] novembermond is hosting fanfic friday to encourage people to do that and share it, because I looked back over my AO3 history for the week, and nope it's too embarrassing to share;

  • this other "study" that showed up on pinboard about how social media is bad for you, which I was thinking about doing a bonus science teardown of, except it's such bad science there isn't even anything to tear down, so I'm just going to link to Bad PR instead;

  • a post about putting favorite characters on "too cool for school/just wants to be a good boy" axes spun off from [personal profile] china_shop's very scientific guardian poll because my attempt at doing it spun off into thoughts on power/race/gender vs. tropes vs. sf settings that play with both, and why black panther is so great; and anyway that's too much work to write about;

  • the javascript trope sorter that going around vs. the same list on my trope sorter that I posted the day before it turned up

  • the fanfic I'm currently trying to finish which was supposed to be on the "write a quick ending and call it done" list, hahaha

  • hats, pictures of hats, why I own so many hats, and konmari, because I haven't gotten to the point in the reorganizing project where I am on to hats yet

  • next steps in nonfiction library reshelving project, begun two years ago

  • the martian, welcome to mars, [ profile] opportunitygrrl, and how humans are so human about people stranded on mars

  • why every attempt I make to use markdown to do easy lists in DW entries fails

  • work bullshit, because auugh

  • more thoughts about into the spiderverse inspired by listening to the spiderverse soundtrack on my commute inspired by work bullshit

  • weighted blankets vs. blankets that just happens to be weighty because I would have to have made my bed first

  • this unrelated playlist I'm suddenly working on\

  • further bookmarklet updates

  • the current state of the New Septic Tank saga

  • the half-finished december meme post I'm supposed to be posting next

  • probably I will add to this list as I remember more things

Belated Festivid reveal!

Feb. 15th, 2019 22:40
silly_cleo: black and white image of Elizabeth Taylor as Cleopatra, text: an almost all greek thing (Default)
[personal profile] silly_cleo
Surprising literally no one, I lucked out and matched on Critical Role for Festivids this year! Which worked out great for me, as it's all I want to vid right now.

Title: Ultralife
Fandom: Critical Role
Character/Pairing: Ensemble
Music: Ultralife - Oh Wonder
Content notes: N/A
Summary: "Blood running in my veins, I've never been here before."
Notes: I still just really love their faces.
Spoilers: Up to episode 48, but this source is still hard to spoil with visuals/vids.
Download: here|288mb
Also on: YouTube|AO3|Tumblr

Ultralife from silly_cleo on Vimeo.

Password: festivids

Lyrics )
cyberghostface: (Two-Face)
[personal profile] cyberghostface posting in [community profile] scans_daily
“When we first teamed for Daredevil, DC called us. This was years ago. They offered me and Alex to leave Marvel and come do Batman. We looked at each other and were like, ‘ahh they finally called and we can’t come!’ Anyone can relate to this, once in a while you get a call and later you think, ‘I wonder what would have happened if I had done this?’ There was no sliding door, we weren’t going to leave Marvel at the time. But we’ve always thought about it. So when I came to DC, I had to call Alex. He said, ‘I want Batman! I’ve waited so many god damn years!’ If you put a piece of paper in front of Alex, he’ll draw Batman. That’s his go-to. So there was a lot of context when DC offered us to do a story in Detective Comics #1000. I was like oh yeah, this will scratch that itch beautifully for me and Alex.” -- Brian Michael Bendis

Story under the cut... )

on reassurance and validation

Feb. 15th, 2019 11:36
lovepeaceohana: A tiny lonely island in the great big blue sea. (island in the ocean)
[personal profile] lovepeaceohana
So I read this thing and it's giving me lightbulbs: It's Important to Remember that Reassurance is a Form of Persuasion.

I’d think of that [sales] job and what it taught me about persuasion later when others would get frustrated that their first attempt at reassurance didn’t magically “fix” my mood.

When they were effectively trying to persuade me to feel better and took personal offense to the reality that to persuade someone you will likely have to overcome their objections.

This doesn’t mean that they don’t want to feel better. Or that it’s impossible. Instead, it’s the way that reassurance typically functions, like all attempts to persuade someone else of something. You don’t start out at agreeing; you need to be persuaded.

That’s not a sign that there’s something wrong with the person you’re trying to help. That’s how reassurance is.

True, there are times when a person can be so distraught that they’re obstinate, really sticking to their self-hatred, their illogical worries. It happens. Fear and insecurity don’t play by the rules.

But I’ve found it’s much more common that people will provide a partner one reassuring comment and then give up when it doesn’t instantly make their partner happy, or worse when their partner argues, providing evidence that contradicts what they just said. Never realizing of course, how they’ve approached it feels like this conversation to the person they’re trying to help:

“Feel better.”


“Because I said so.”

This is probably the first post written by this author with which I've pretty vehemently disagreed -- not exactly with its central premise, which is that providing reassurance to people is at least partially about overcoming obstacles in persuading them to feel differently about themselves, that's totally true.

Instead I'm coming down pretty firmly on the side of the author's partners who are all "I can’t make you feel good about yourself." I can't hold myself responsible for another person's sense of self-worth and also I don't see that as fundamentally possible in a healthy way, like, I'd never want someone's sense of their own self-worth to be dependent on my opinion of them or my goodwill toward them. And this isn't an excuse to be insensitive to people's needs/expectations/etc, or to be a jerk about someone's appearance or personal habits or whatever, nor is this me trying to weasel out of giving people compliments or praise (I'm not often great at Words of Affirmation but I do like offering praise and compliments when they're genuine!) I just -- my sense of self-worth is my responsibility to myself, and given my brainweasels it's a pretty big one, I'm absolutely not the person you should be relying on for your sense of self-worth too!

But I'm looking back at the piece and especially the end, which I quoted above, and find myself frustrated with the whole notion that a person expressing self-doubt or -recrimination necessarily benefits the most from reassurance. When I am expressing self-doubt and self-hate, what I need most from the people to whom I am expressing it is to feel seen: "Oh, you're really feeling some kinda way about yourself regarding this" + some invitation to dig a little deeper and maybe eventually problem-solve, i.e. "What did you learn that you can take with you as a lesson for the future?" -- but only after I've gotten all the way through the feeling and out the other side! -- works a whoooooooole lot better for me than someone trying to convince me that I don't/shouldn't feel however it is I'm feeling, which is what "Feel better, because I said so" basically amounts to.

(Like, I think of an acquaintance of mine who regularly posts self-negative diatribes about how much of a failure she is on FB, and despite her saying things like "And don't try to tell me I'm wrong, I know I'm not," etc., her comments section typically fills up with people who are attempting to offer her reassurance by ... telling her she's wrong, demonstrating for her all the things that are good about herself and why she shouldn't feel the way she does, etc., in ways that always struck me as misguided at best. She's literally said not to do the thing y'all are doing so you're doing it why? Reality-checking her distorted perception of herself is something she already knows how to ignore/distrust? Anyway, tangent.)

And on top of that, I will almost always resent feeling like I've somehow manipulated someone into offering me reassurance about my moral worth by expressing self-doubt/-hate/-recrimination. I'm beginning to realize that feeling manipulative is a pretty big emotional landmine for me, and when I think I'm asking for one thing, but get a response that indicates a different question I didn't explicitly ask may be the one to which the askee is responding, I feel like I've been manipulative and emotionally dishonest. I don't know what, if anything, I can/should do about this, except to have recognized it and get better about being explicit when I'm requesting emotional labor from someone.

So this was a really good conversation to have had with Beau, because we've been having some conversations about my negative self-talk lately, and this article was key to realizing what wasn't quite sitting right with me about those conversations, because yeah, he totally does the thing where he tries for reassurance first and being able to sit with him and say "oh actually what I needed/was expecting from sharing x with you was y" has been hella useful, especially because it meant that I could apologize for it in a meaningful way and not one that feels even moar anxiety-dance/supplicative/manipulative/etc.

HBO War Week 2019

Feb. 15th, 2019 14:08
kunstarschloch: Dick Winters and Lewis Nixon together in Austria, sharing a contented smile. (BoB: Winnix - Austria)
[personal profile] kunstarschloch posting in [community profile] fandomcalendar
Banner for HBO War Week 2019.

Link: [community profile] easycotroopers (AO3 collection)

Description: HBO War Week is an annual low-pressure prompt meme for Band of Brothers, The Pacific, and Generation Kill. Each day of one consecutive week is dedicated to a one-word prompt.

Information Post | Community Guidelines

Posting Dates: March 3 - 9

Bargains AU concept 2

Feb. 15th, 2019 14:52
bedlamsbard: star wars rebels: hera with her arms folded, smiling (hera)
[personal profile] bedlamsbard
Here is the alternate POV version of the first scene from the bargains AU, plus another scene that follows it! This is actually the first version of the scene I wrote, following two scenes set earlier in the AU that are very fragmentary and so haven’t been posted. (Those are the scenes that give the concept its nickname, go figure.)

Please note that while I don’t typically warn, these scenes contain discussion of self-harm and suicide.

About 2.7K below the break.


“Blast.” Ahsoka sank down onto a bench and rubbed her hands over her face, her exhaustion from the day’s events finally catching up with her. They’d been lucky that Free Ryloth had been as close as it had, or Barriss would probably be dead right now.

That’s one asset blown, she thought with cold-blooded resignation that startled her when the rest of her mind caught up with the thought. It was better for the galaxy that there were two Inquisitors out of the Emperor’s hands – three, maybe, though she hadn’t been able to tell if the Hunter had survived or not. A lightsaber through the back was generally fatal, but with Force-users you could never be sure. She’d learned that lesson in the dying days of the Clone Wars.

Read more... )
sovay: (Psholtii: in a bad mood)
[personal profile] sovay
Despite the usual lack of sleep occasioned by early-morning doctors' appointments, I had a nice time meeting [personal profile] a_reasonable_man at Widener Library and then it turned out the item for which I had requested reading room privileges was actually a mirage in the catalogue and the afternoon promptly deteriorated: it took me two hours to get home thanks to the MBTA being both snafu and fubar; my stamina comprehensively fucked off long before then; and I got back to the internet to discover the liar in the White House has declared a national emergency for purposes of immigrant crackdown, which is the kind of thing I have been worried about since he took office. Protests appear to be planned for noon on Monday. [personal profile] spatch and I are supposed to attend our traditional twenty-four-hour science fiction film marathon ending at noon on Monday. I guess sleep-deprived protest it's going to be. This can't be the worst timeline, but could it stop doing its best to compete?

Batman: Damned #2

Feb. 15th, 2019 12:30
cyberghostface: (Joker)
[personal profile] cyberghostface posting in [community profile] scans_daily

The next issue has yet to come out but it's been over a month so I'm posting a third from this one.

Warning for rape

Scans under the cut... )


starlady: Raven on a MacBook (Default)

February 2019

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